i zone out too much lately; when already in reality, im leaping to the unknown. i hardly do things for concrete reasons, but only find enough reasons to just be. i zone out in conversations too; especially the kind of conversation where people make me see what i am and make me compare it to what i ought to be. they sound so safe, secure, right, proper, proven and known. its like life has limited their freedom and repressed their personality. i think the commitment by its very nature will be a shallow one.

sometimes i feel like im in a movie set where nothing is real; i cant help but feel that some of us are monumentally good at doing nothing that even if the next twenty four hours of your life arent double booked, you have to act like they are.