whatever it is im trying to ignite, i am now quite certain that they can never match up to you. i often thought grimly, they are really much weirder than i had imagine. the idea is quite simple really, to want to jump up and down with sheer ecstasy and not laugh extremely fakely anymore. its like im begging to do something i know how to, rather than be sent to do something i feel im certain to fail at. after you, i started getting angry and bored. i guess i have to be realistic about what is expected of me.

deep down, im still quiet, restrained and solemn. deep down, i know ure always better, if not the best.