ARGH. what is this?

what is this that im feeling?

my face bore a stupendous smile of silent satisfaction, yet i am fighting back curiosity now. wait, wasnt i the one who proposed to cancel out curiosity in our poorly defined emotion deal?! but this isnt contentment; isnt excitement, this is uncertainty; unconsistency. i didnt utter a single word. i see little point in doing such. in my head, i think i should make a solemn pledge never to touch spirits again.