i freaked the hell out of the bff over dinner. we both couldnt figure out why i was in rage and restless. but yeah, that 'time' is about to come, and all of us know how women come up with the pms excuse every damn time.

the thing is, i think ive stopped believing; in miracles and luck mostly. i can barely see any ray of hope no matter how much i fake my optimism. i am no longer confident of my chances. worse, i start to regret my unforgiving attitude toward cutting "overhead"s and how my eyes were always squinting in mistrust and how impatient i was with people's artful dodging.

you see, im starting to grow new input in my brain that in this modern corporate life there is no time for sentimentality. so from now on, we both think its best that we put ourself up for a challenge. no more playing safe. you know what they say; you have to kill to get in the mafia. so, yeah....