apparently my recent discovery was one big-ass magnifying glass; like a moment of total clarity. having said that, i'd have to admit i was the one poking holes in my own theory. somewhere along the way i was living in denial, not wanting to accept the reality of this inhumanly hurtful truth; like life is a movie set and nothing was real and everything was alterable.

people around me may think im in some profound state of darkness dealing with the sense of being lost but im not. i made my escape and find myself surprisingly ..... okay! it wasnt too bad, fundamentally. i mean, better to hurt than feel nothing right?

interesting ending for a new beginning eh?